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|| Jai Guru Dev ||
If a real culprit is there and you want to correct him, you can only do it through communication. And if he is not a real culprit, your whole exercise is futile. Are you getting what I’m saying? Your whole exercise is futile because you are blaming and blaming, and it does not help. Say, in your home, someone is incorrigible and they irritate you. Your mother, your father, spouse, children or somebody irritates you, what do you do? You keep blaming them. Your blaming your mother in law is not going to give you anything positive in return. You may get a lot of problems! Instead of blaming them, take this opportunity as an exercise for you to maintain your equanimity; your inner balance. So, if everything is okay, if everybody is praising you and you say that I am a very balanced person, it doesn’t mean much. It doesn’t make any sense. If a bunch of people or even one person is blaming you for what you have not done and you still keep your balance then that means you have achieved something, you have gotten somewhere, and you have risen to some level. You need such an opportunity. Somebody blames you and you are able to maintain your equanimity, knowing what they are doing is completely rubbish and false. So, for someone who is blaming an innocent person, it is not going to do them any good, even though the victim sends them blessings. Those who blame the innocent, it is not such a good thing. However, constructive criticism is essential. This does not mean that you always say good things and nice things even when you feel nothing is okay. You put a smile on your face, but you feel very angry inside. This is not going to work. We should be genuine. We should be honest. You know, suppressing anger inside is also another problem. At the same time, being a time bomb all the time or a timeless bomb is even dangerous. So, we need a certain balance in life, certain wisdom. Silence, meditation and all these practices will take you in that direction.
Now, don’t tell me, ‘Oh, I have been doing meditation for so long but I still lose my temper’. Never mind. If you were losing your temper a hundred times, now you are losing it a dozen times. If you were losing your temper a dozen times, maybe you lose it a couple of times now. So, it always reduces. You can never say that it does not work at all. When you blame someone, just analyze what your purpose of blaming is. You want to correct the person, is that why you are blaming? Or are you blaming just because you want to vent out your emotions? What is your attitude? Why do you want to do it? Venting out your emotions or blaming someone only shows how immature you are, how much jealousy you have, how you have no control over your own mind, and how much more you need meditation and all this. Isn’t it?
There is a very beautiful couplet in Kannada which I used to study in school. It says, ‘If you have built a home in the forest and you say that you are scared of animals, what can I tell you? You have built a home on the seashore and then you are scared of waves, what can I advise you? And you have built a home right in the middle of the city, and you are averse to noise, what can I advise you? In the same way, having built a home on the top of a hill, you say that you don’t like breeze, you don’t like wind and you are scared of wind, what can I tell you? Similarly, being in this world, in the society, if you are scared of blame and praise and say that I don’t want to be praised or blamed, what can I tell you? I take refuge at the feet of my lord and then there is comfort wherever I am. The only comfort is the refuge at the feet of the lord’. It is so beautiful! Which is the place where there is no fear? That is when I take refuge at the feet of the Divine. So, if someone blames you or criticizes you or they praise you, you should treat them the same, you should not be worried about it. Stand up to criticism. And give constructive criticism with compassion. A criticism should go with compassion and care. That works. Blaming is out of anger, jealousy, and hatred and does not work. It does not yield any result.
|| Jai Guru Dev ||
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