Mothers and Mothers-in-law

Posted on: Sunday, June 14, 2015


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Usually, in my talks, I say drop all your problems here at the Ashram. Once in our ashram in Bangalore, a devotee asked, “My biggest problem is my mother-in-law. Can I leave her here and go?”

I said, “Let me ask your mother-in-law first, what is her biggest problem.”
Then I asked her, “Has there been many times when you been in conflict with your own mother?”
She said, “Yes. All the time she finds fault with me”.

Mothers find faults in their daughters and they fight a lot, but that doesn’t get into the heart. If a mother scolds you, it doesn’t really get into your heart. But when the mother-in-law says just 10% of what your mother said, it touches you so deep in your heart. Is it not the case?

After hearing this she said, “Oh yes, I never thought of it like that before.”
I said, “See, they are of the same generation. If the mother-in-law finds some fault in you, then why do you react differently towards her than you do with your own mother?”

You know, this one thing has saved many families. Just making a shift in awareness has made a huge difference. Seeing the patterns in mothers and mothers-in-law and seeing that they are the same makes the daughter-in-law take things in a much lighter manner. They feel much better in dealing with their in laws. So it should not be just mother’s day. It should be mother-in-law’s day too.

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